Sexting - Will You Accept The Possible Punishments?

Just what is sexting?

Sexting is the cell phone distribution of messages, photos or videos of a sexual nature. Sending nude or semi-nude photos can be a felony! What??? How can that be? A child, under the age of 18, who sends a naked photo of himself/herself can be charged with felony child pornography. The person or persons who resend the photos can also receive a felony charge for the distribution of child pornography.

Most sexting is done by teenagers using their cell phones. Most of them don't even know it's a crime and many that do, don't care. While sexting between boyfriend and girlfriend may seem innocent enough and limited to the relationship of two people, the consequences reach far beyond those two people. In many cases, a breakup of the relationship triggers the distribution of photos. Girlfriend breaks off the relationship. Boyfriend is angry. Boyfriend sends the naked pictures of his ex to all his friends. If he is 18 and she is 16, he is going to jail. If convicted, he could do prison time and be added to a registry of sex offenders for the rest of his life. Sound severe? It is. What starts off as "true love" ends with prison and a lifetime of misery.

Case in point: Phillip Alpert, of Orlando Florida had just turned 18. He and his 16 year old high school sweetheart of 2 1/2 years had an argument. To retaliate, he sent a naked photo she had sent him of herself, to her family and friends. In retrospect, he says it was an immature act by an immature kid. The Orlando police didn't take it so lightly. Phillip was arrested and charged with sending child pornography, a felony. He pleaded no contest, but was later convicted. He was sentenced to five years probation and is required to register as a sex offender.

Most of us think of child pornographers as those who violate small or underage children in the most devious of circumstances. We never stop to consider that the laws of our country don't discriminate between hard core child pornography and youthful "indiscretions". Distributing photos of anyone under the age of 18 is a crime. It doesn't matter if they are 3 years old or 17 years old.

This begs the question...Is this fair? "Victims" knowingly and willingly take photos of themselves and send them to another person. In today's technology, how much privacy can we expect if we use a public device for the transmission of pictures? Granted, we expect the person we "love" to respect our privacy and not distribute private information, but when things go wrong, love goes out the window.

The laws appear too severe in these types of situations. Child pornography laws on the possession or dissemination of graphic images were never meant to apply to teen sexting. These teenagers usually have no criminal intent when they send pictures to each other. Most teens are not participating in child pornography in the legal sense with which the laws were created. The teens who are sexting each other are not sexting with children. They are communicating with their peers and none of them consider themselves children. To adults, they are still children. To them, they are grown up enough to explore their own and each other's sexuality.

Exploring sexuality is not new to this generation. In past generations, it was not all that uncommon for a high school senior to date a sophomore. If that senior turned 18 before his prom and took the 16 year old to that prom, he could be charged with statutory rape if they had sex that evening. If the evening didn't end with intercourse, but with some lesser sex act, he could be jailed for a number of other charges. Sexual assault, sexual battery, sexual abuse of a minor, etc. If it happened today, he could be jailed, spend time in prison and be required to register on a sex offender site.

Aside from the legal consequences, there are personal consequences. First of all, there is the reputation issue. In the old days, a reputation was created verbally. Hearsay could be disputed. Today, we have photographic "proof" of someone's indiscretions and the "proof" can easily be distributed. We can't undo someone seeing a nude picture of another. That image is permanent. Another reputation consequence has been an increase in suicides among those whose reputations have been damaged by the distribution of photos. The disgrace and humiliation become so unbearable that some see no alternative than to take their own life. Jessica Logan of Cincinnati, Ohio took her own life after being ridiculed and taunted at high school. Her boyfriend sent pictures of her to other classmates.

What can be done?

Laws must be changed to reflect the changes in communications. The punishment should fit the crime and most sexting has no criminal intent.

Education and communication is vital to address this phenomenon. As parents, we need to communicate with our children and help them understand the long term consequences of their actions. Our worldwide communications systems broadcast whatever we choose to make available. Our children need to discontinue their personal open book policy. While social web sites are wonderful communication tools, we need our children to understand that not every bit of our personal lives needs to be part of a public forum!

Am I My Brother's Keeper?

Should friends watch out for one another?

Unless you live under a rock or in a cave, we've all heard about designated drivers. A designated driver is the person who remains sober while his friends are drinking and partying. His job is to stay sober and drive his friends home safely. This is a great policy for people of all ages and should be practiced without exception.

Is the designated driver policy enough to protect our friends? Should we be doing more?

The best example I can provide is the Natalie Holloway story. Here was a girl on vacation partying with her friends. Most, if not all her friends, knew she had been drinking. Why didn't anyone stop her from leaving with three total strangers? Did anyone try? Should anyone have attempted to stop her? The girl ended up dead and the case is still not resolved. Could her friends have prevented this tragedy?

The stories don't end there. There are numerous examples of college students drinking themselves to death and no one is around or paying attention to the victims. Who is the genius who thought it would be fun to have 21 shots on your 21st birthday? Has no one heard of alcohol poisoning?

Just recently, a girl was killed in Joliet Illinois after leaving a restaurant/bar after an argument. She was found dead in the street and there are many unanswered questions about the cause of her death. Did she get hit by a car or was she thrown from a car? Could one friend have prevented this?

Several years ago, we were with a friend who had consumed quite a lot of alcohol. At the end of the night, several people tried unsuccessfully to get his car keys. No one forcibly attempted to take his keys and he subsequently attempted to drive himself home. Within a mile of his home, the police noticed his erratic driving and flipped on the lights. He panicked and attempted to outrun the police. The police eventually gave up the chase, but as they were parked on the side of the road, they heard a crash. Sure enough, our friend crashed into a telephone pole and was impaled by a metal pole. He lived long enough for his parents to visit him in the hospital emergency room and he apologized for his actions. He bled out shortly after they arrived. Should we have forcibly taken his keys? Most definitely! We let a friend die that night and it will haunt us forever.

If we are true friends, shouldn't we look out for each other? Shouldn't we protect each other from harm? Should we go beyond the designated driver policy and make a pact with our friends where one will always remain capable of helping the others?

I've read many touching tributes to fallen friends and it seems teens today love their friends very much. It's not like the old days where you'd read about a death in the newspaper and possibly attend the wake or funeral. With the age of social web sites and instant communications, it is possible to create an instant memorial to a fallen friend and many teens pour their hearts out in tribute to their loved ones. It is encouraging to see how much support is given to the families of victims.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could prevent some of these tragic deaths in the first place? I still believe that when your time is up, no one can prevent it. But what if our purpose is to protect each other? Keeping each other safe would be a great act of friendship.

If you're out partying, have someone stay sober and make sure no one drinks themselves to death or attempts to drive. Watch out for each other when in the company of strangers. Don't let your best friend leave with someone you really don't know. If you're taking a long road trip by car, make sure someone stays awake with the driver. Way too many people die in car crashes on the way home from vacations because the driver can't stay awake.

Don't stop enjoying life. Life is to be lived, but you have to be alive to live it.

Am I my brother's keeper?

Should the legal drinking age be lowered to eighteen?

There are strong opinions on either side of this debate. Of course, the young adults, under the age of twenty one, would like the law changed to allow them to participate in this adult activity. After all, eighteen is the legal age of consent, the legal age to enter a contract, the legal age to marry and the legal age to serve in our armed forces and die for our country. So, why are they not considered "mature" enough to have a drink of alcohol? It seems rather hypocritical to allow young adults most of their adult responsibilities, but not one particular activity. It seems if they are not mature enough to engage in the consumption of alcohol, they should not be considered adults under any of the other adult situations either. Therefore, the legal age should be raised across the board to twenty one for all adult activities.

The arguments have been raised pointing to the irresponsibility of underage drinking, yet one only has to peruse a local newspaper's police report to find a rather high number of "legal" drinkers being arrested for drunken driving. It seems quite rare to see the names and ages of underage drinkers listed in the local papers. Irresponsibility doesn't appear to be exclusive to adults under the age of twenty one.